If I'm being honest, 22 doesn’t feel any different than 21. I think I’ve reached the point in my life where there aren’t as many societal accomplishments to get through anymore. And that’s honestly a relief. It’s nice to be able to think about the things that I, myself, will accomplish in the coming year instead of what the rest of the world expects me to accomplish.
It was my birthday last weekend! My sweet boyfriend came to visit, my sister and I went sledding in my backyard, and we ate a lot of amazing food. I love my birthday, not just because of the cake and the excuse to treat myself, not just because of the gathering of friends and family, but because it’s a great opportunity to reflect on the past year and take pride in who I am becoming.
This reflection became a birthday tradition only recently. My 20th birthday was a Friday. I was still in college, glowing over my foresight to finish all of my homework for the week on Thursday. I was curled up in the spinning office chair on my library shift and had bought myself a London Fog from the library coffeeshop, with nothing in my backpack but my journal, pens, my laptop, and books (NON-ACADEMIC ones to read FOR FUN). Not only did this make my backpack 30 pounds lighter, but I also had the mental space to really think back on my life for the first time. So I wrote a list of 20 things I had learned in the past 20 years. I was surprised by how easily I came up with 20 things, how much I had learned, and how much I enjoyed that process. It led me to respect myself a little more, to validate my experiences, and to gain a little bit more confidence.
I love this tradition, and I’m excited for the years to come, when I can write down 30 or 40 things I’ve learned, look back, and see how far I’ve come.
Enjoy some things I’ve gleaned from this life.
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22 Things I’ve Learned in 22 Years
1. Growing up is messy and gross, but that doesn’t mean YOU’RE messy and gross.
2. Take up space. Stop worrying about what other people think of you. Take space for yourself, too.
3. Love, love, love, even when it doesn’t make sense.
4. If you give your inner critic a name, it’s easier to tell it to shut up (Mine is Verunca).
5. You won’t be in the place you are forever. Change can be so good.
6. Jesus is the redeemer, and he will take care of things you never thought would be restored.
7. There are seasons of disconnection from God. That’s normal, there’s nothing wrong with you. Keep going.
8. Some days call for sad songs and tears, and others call for worship music and pulling yourself back to reality. Both are important.
9. You know that thing you’ve been thinking about doing for a long time? Stop thinking and just do it!
10. Don’t burn bridges, just rope them off for a bit if you need to. People do come back sometimes.
11. Life is all about balance. Do what you need to do to be healthy, but don’t be afraid to enjoy the buffalo chicken dip/cake/the thing that tastes good.
12. Everyone makes time for the things and the people and the hobbies that are important to them.
13. Things do not have to be the way they’ve always been. If you don’t like something in your life, change it. If you worry that you’ll exhibit some characteristics you don’t like, then pay attention and don’t do those things.
14. People are not their Enneagram number, generational grouping, or literally any stereotype you might try to shove them into.
15. When you feel pain, anger, sorrow, or really any other intense emotion, let it drive you to creation.
16. There’s only one voice you should pay attention to, and more often than not His is the hardest to hear. But it’s beyond worth it to try.
17. The person you’re supposed to be with won’t just inspire you to chase your dreams, but they’ll give you the tools to do it.
18. Walk a mile in another man’s shoes.
19. Cleaning stuff out and organizing a space can actually be super fun and empowering, especially when you’re cleaning out Spotify playlists. You’re taking back what’s yours.
20. Notice as much as you can and delight in it.
21. Expecting the worst out of everything does not prepare you. It just cripples you.
22. Sorrow and joy can and often do coexist. Make sure the joy gets its space to breathe.
Photo by Jeremy Lapak on Unsplash